So I'm taking this route instead. I keep going through the workouts and trying to do them in the mornings. This way i have to get to the end of the program eventually. I'm still working on the eating thing. I try and eat healthily, but it's so expensive to follow those exercise diet plans. I'm following my own for now I think and then when I start round 2 (if I ever complete round 1...) then I'll try and follow the plan then. Hopefully in NC I'll have a steady job and be able to plan things more effectively.

I've also had a bit of flu this week. Nothing too bad and it seems to be heading out, but it's enough to make my head feel like it's going to explode and ache everywhere. :S

I'm still not well but I figured I'd try some yoga this morning. Bad idea. I didn't even make it halfway through the workout. I'm not really sure whether to count it or not. I did try, but sweaty hands and feet make it extremely difficult to grip the yoga mat and therefore I'm not holding the positions correctly, so is it really worth carrying on?

So I'm going to shower and chill a bit before I start work at 3. I'll start again tomorrow with Legs and back :)

xx

So. My third day of freedom, and damn it feels good. I still technically have my dissertation to write but it will get it's ass kicked in a few days. I'll have 7ish whole days to write it, and I think that's ample time to nail it! i want to do it well, so I really need to get on it. I would start now, but I figure working 10 hour days as well, will not lend to good writing. I feel a little like i'm cheating, but after reading one of Andy's assignments, I feel like I'm better equipped to write this thing well. Not copying, just taking hints from his writing style.
I'm feeling a little better than I was the other day with the weight issue. I think a week of stress eating + it being over = meltdown. I'm hopefully going to be going to the doctors sometime this week to get my preventer inhaler, and then that should mean that I can start running again with out killing my self ;) I can't wait! Then the graduation ball is next week, I still fit into my dress, which is great news, and I think the shoes I bought the other day might go with it ok, happy days!
Anyway, I'm going to enjoy my morning of nothing to do before I have to head to work later.



"In the confrontation between the stream and the rock, the stream always wins; not through strength, but through persistence."
Buddha



We do not grow absolutely, chronologically. We grow sometimes in one dimension, and not in another; unevenly. We grow partially. We are relative. We are mature in one realm, childish in another. The past, present, and future mingle and pull us backward, forward, or fix us in the present. We are made up of layers, cells, constellations.
Anaia Nin



How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.
Anne Frank



Realize you are responsible for your life. The decisions, the choices you make are yours. Don't blame others for things not working out, take responsibility, change the things that need changing

Worst Valentines ever. I'm finally with the man of my dreams and he's 6000 miles away from me. Not that Valentines day is really unlike any other day I guess, but it does make it hit home more than usual. Guys coming into work all week buying flowers and cards, people I know going out to dinner, spending the night together. That's what it's really about. Making time to spend with the person you love, like really spending time with them. Not just sitting in front of the tv, or hanging out with friends. Having a day/night that is just about the two of you. I think it's important. It's important that the person you love knows it, without you saying it. That you love them so much that they can just feel it. Hallmark holiday or not, sometimes it's ok to have a reminder. Life gets in the way. Valentines day is like a gentle reminder that you have what you've been looking for, that even though things can be rough sometimes, you have the most important thing of all: someone to care about and who cares about you.

Den has a lot on his plate right now, looking for a job, his friend Greg is still missing. I can't imagine what it feels like. I wish there was something I could do. I feel so helpless. Hopefully having Brooks there will do him some good. I think he needs a break from Quin sometimes. He sounds like a great guy, but it seems like he can be very childish sometimes and need his own way a lot.
They're playing football tonight, I think Den will enjoy it a lot. I think he misses playing sometimes. He gave me the impression he used to play a lot when we met, he talked about football practice, but never seemed to go... Hmmm.

We're having a delayed Valentines day in March, I can't wait! Just over a month and I'll be with him again. I'm so tired of being on my own. I feel like I have nothing here anymore. Sure, i have friends, but they've all moved away. Laura and Dan just seem to work and watch TV. It can be hard to get a conversation out of Laura these days, she's very wrapped up in Laura. Which is fine. She's building a life with Dan, they have their stuff. Hopefully one day I'll be building a life with Den. I don't know what I'd do without him. I know it's unhealthy to NEED someone, but I figure it's ok, if you want them way more. Haha.

It's getting close to 11, so I better get to bed, else I'll never sleep. Going to run in the morning, not sure if Gaz is coming, I think he's screening my calls. Jerk.

x

Nothing was perfect but everything was real.



But the struggles make you stronger,
And the changes make you wise,
And happiness has it's own way of taking its sweet time.
Life isn't always beautiful, but its a beautiful ride.



They were in love. You could tell just by the way
they looked at each other, like they had the most
wonderful secret in the world between them.



For the first time in my life, I feel like I'm
doing something right because when I look
at him, it's there. In everything he does to me,
it's there. I don't know what it is, but I know
that it is there, & it's never going to leave.



True love isn't love at first sight;
it should be love at every sight.



I want to wake up in your room, in your bed. I want to wake up to that view in your window, the one that overlooks everything below. I want to wake up in your arms, my skin pressed against yours. I want to shower in your bathroom and wash my face in your sink. I want to make you coffee and have toast with you. I want to read the morning paper with you and drive to work with you. I want to have our photo in a frame at the corner of my desk. I want to come home from work to you. I want to hold you and feel you and love you properly. I want to make dinner with you. I want to do the dishes and sort the laundry with you. I want to get ready for bed with you. I want to fall asleep in your arms, and wake up to you and do everything all over again. I want to be with you.




The thing about you is - you're fun.
You make me laugh and make me feel more alive.
Okay, you make me a little crazy sometimes, but
there are these moments in my mind, crystal clear
images of you and me and how we fit together, and
it all just makes such perfect sense, and I know what I want,
I want time with you.



I'm never letting this one go, because often certain people
enter our lives at the most peculiar times for the most beautiful
reasons. They seem to make the most perfect impressions
while leaving behind an everlasting impact. Some of the
best things in life appear when you least expect them.
Things you can never forget.



Live life like there's no tomorrow.
Love the people who treat you right,
and realize that no matter what happens,
they'll always love you. you can`t change
the past, so look forward to the future.
Live every day to the fullest, and have no
regrets. know that everything has its
purpose, and that everything happens
for a reason.



The greatest feeling in the world is to be around
someone who who wants to hold you ; wants to
kiss your forehead ; wants to be around you..
wants to call you at night ; wants to see you smile.
but whats better than that is finding someone that
does it all, because he wants to see you happy.



I’ve never fallen so hard for someone in such a short
period of time. and even though i promised myself i
wouldn't risk the chance of getting hurt again, for
some reason, when i'm with you, it all seems worth it.


You’re the reason I wake up every morning and put
a smile on. The reason I ignore every guy's attempt
to hit on me. The reason my glass is half full instead
of half empty. You’re the reason I feel alive.



Thinking of you keeps me awake. dreaming of you
keeps me asleep. Being with you keeps me alive.



There aren't very many people in this world who can give
you butterflies. So when you find someone who can,
never let them go.

♥

but it sure can pay the bills, and fill my little belly right up.

They say money can't buy you happiness, but you sure as hell can't do much with out it.

I potentially have 3 jobs in the pipeline, lets just hope at least one of them comes through with enough hours so I can stop worrying.

At least for a little while.

I'm over being a student.

"Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass, it's about learning to dance in the rain."



"The greatest thing you'll ever learn
Is to love and be loved in return."